I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
