Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
