defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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