U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
