if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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