addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
