Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
