You made me cry and you don't even care
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
this will be a night to untag.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
