i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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