That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
