You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
