you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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