You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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