My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
