Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize