somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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