apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
