I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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