She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
