Your dad touched me again.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
