he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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