You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
being pregnant is like rehab
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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