I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
