Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
