But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
