I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
