I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
