:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
