Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
