she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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