I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
