so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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