The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
