Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
