so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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