I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
