I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Someone came in the potted fern
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
