i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
try to milk me bitch
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
