I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
