I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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