I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
