Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
