I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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