just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
