1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have aggressive nipples.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
