dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm bleeding and have questions
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
