I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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