You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
