brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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