Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She made me pour olive oil on her.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
