i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
