So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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