names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
