The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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