id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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