real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
