Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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