I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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