You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
