Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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