i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You dont lie about slip and slides
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
